ElectricTeaParty.net

Our cats have a water cooler (jug of water connected to a dish) under
the assumption that it is a long-lasting source of fairly fresh water.
But dear little Kallisto, isn't she precious, will play in the water
until it is all gone. We're talking like a quart of water. I think she
likes the glug-glug sound, the mirror-like appearance of the water, or
something. For months she did this - she would sit with her arms
lovingly around the bottom of the water cooler, and when you left the
room, there was the incessent glug-glug sound. Often I would go to
work, and come home to see the floor covered in a great lake, and
sometimes the whole water cooler was knocked on its side. So needless
to say, when I installed laminate floor, I stopped using the water
cooler.

We have been using a plain old bowl full of water, but precious little Kallisto inevitably knocks it over as well.
Thirsty cats, and water soaking into the carpet (I know better than to
leave water on the laminate floor now). Yesterday I tried switching
back to the water cooler. I put zip ties around it, attached a clip to
the zip ties, and clipped it to a sturdy anchor. "Let's see them knock
THAT over," I thought.

This morning at 2am I woke up to hear: *THUNK* glug glug glug glug.
*THUNK* glug glug glug glug. *THUNK* glug glug glug glug. *THUNK* glug
glug glug glug.

Ad nauseum.

This morning, the water cooler was still upright, but it was upright
and completely empty. The carpet is SOPPING wet. Oh Kallisto, how
precious you are...

Our faithful snail, Tall Simon, has mysteriously kicked the bucket. Well, I suppose it's not all that mysterious - these little aquatic creatures are known to pop their clogs on a regular basis - but it did happen under mysterious circumstances.

Shortly before wee headed to Calgary for Easter, we noticed that the aquarium was getting pretty clear of algae. Of course I regularly scrub the grunge off the front glass, but I used to leave a veritable feast on the sides and back of the tank for our late gastropod friend. My first impression was, "gee, he's sure eaten a lot of that algae!" But I realized that there were no tell-tale track marks where he'd been, and the clean area seemed to be in a wide strip along the top half of the tank, rather than Tall Simon's usually erratic eating patterns. I wondered what the deal was with the disappearing algae, but there wasn't a lot I could do. I recently tested the water, and it seems fine.

Well, when we got home from Easter, the tank was gorgeous. No algae whatsoever, and the water was ultra-clear. But again, no track marks; it was like someone had squeegeed the entire inside of the aquarium. Even the ornaments were clean as a whistle. It sure seemed peculiar... And now Tall Simon is dead. Just like that. He hasn't moved in a couple days, so I poked him - and his trap door just fell off. He's dead. So I fished him out.

I've read that when a snail dies, there's no question about it - it's supposed to really stink. Well, I'm here to inform you that they're not kidding. When I pulled Tall Simon out of the water, there was a stink like a million nasty cat farts all at once. I had to tie up the garbage bag and put it oustide for fear of stinking up the apartment. And it sticks to you. My hands smelled literally like poo. Like a port-o-potty in the sun. I took a shower, and washed my hands three times to get the smell off. Dude, it's rank.

So I'm back. . .finally, at great length, having at last located an internet connection that will allow me to read, write, and send email, not to mention drop by the party. I've been skimming around, catching up on what's been going since I last managed to drop by. . .which ain't much, by the way. . .and I'm struck by something startling: I am surrounded by CAT people! Hello? Where are all the dog people? Sure, a cat's great for tranquility. . .that's why they make those battery-operated stuffed ones that purr and vibrate when you stroke them. . . .mmmmmm,.. . .nice kitty. . . .where was I? ah yes. Cats may be all very well and good for vegging in front of a book or a movie, but will a cat cheer you up when you're feeling blue? Will a cat play fetch with you? Will a cat keep you company on your walk? Can a cat make puppy-dog eyes? Of course not! Cats are above all that. The question is, will a dog keep you company while you're vegging in front of a book or a movie? Well, do you have bacon in your pocket? Just kidding. . . of course your loyal dog will keep you company. . . whenever, wherever, no matter what. Unlike your opportunistic cat. Gotta say though, if they could make a dog that purred. . .  Ahem. Apologies to the cat people: just spent the weekend at a dog show. . .heeeeeeere puppy puppy puppy. . .

 

And let me say now: if this is double spaced, it wasn't my fault. All I did was hit enter and the spacing went all funkytown on me. Seriously. The magnetic, computer-addling personality is NOT my fault. . .I was born with it, I can't help it. :-P

 

Damn. . .how can it be 5pm already? Gotta run or I'm going to end up jammed in some banker's armpit again on the tube home. . .grrrrrrrr. Some days I thing London Transport is the first circle of Hell. Farewell, cat lovers. Dog lovers unite!

While using the laser pointer to play with the cats, I decided to shine the red dot onto the toilet paper roll in the bathroom down the hall. Naturally, this resulted in Loki pulling a swathe of paper off the roll, and doing what kittens do with everything - chew on it. The paper being thus sullied, it obviously couldn't go back on the roll, so I tore it off for the cats to make off with. After watching them play with it for a while, I thought it might be fun to wrap the paper around one of them and see what they do. It took some doing, but I got Loki to stand still enough to have the paper wrapped around his mid-section and tucked in snugly.

The thought suddenly occurs to me: It might be fun to wrap the cats up in toilet paper for Halloween! We could have Mummy Cats! Hehehehehehe! Hey - the Egyptians did mummify their cats and have them entombed alongside them, so it's not exactly far-fetched. What a great idea! :)

We got a snail! He (she?) is a golden Apple Snail, and his name is Tall Simon. Why "Tall Simon?" Well... why not? It may or may not have to do with the fact that is he is not, in fact, remotely tall (well, compared to me, anyway), or to the fact that there is a well-known singer with a similar name, who is also not particularly tall. Or it could be alliteration. I dunno, just thought the name sounded good.

At any rate, I made a little movie of him, and posted it in the gallery. But with a little techno-magic... poof! Here it is! (clicky-clicky)

Geeze these cats are stupid. They've been wrestling on the floor, and they've managed to get their front claws entangled. Can you believe it? Two cats lying on the floor on their sides, squealing in chorus, with their front-right paws streched out and linked together by a single claw. *sigh*

So as you know, Insanity Prawn Boy has been ravenous. If there was food around, he would be right there first, and Heaven help anyone else who got in his way.

Well, Insanity Prawn Boy disappeared for a couple days. We found him - he was hiding up inside the castle. Suddenly it all made sense! Insanity Prawn Boy was molting, and needed to feed up before several days of seclusion.

When Insanity Prawn Boy emerged, he was much more clear, and hence had definitely molted. He was also heavily laden with eggs. Umm... I guess it's Insanity Prawn Girl then? I have to admit, I kind-of suspected this; Insanity Prawn Boy was verging on being far too big to be a boy at all. It turns out this is the case. And what with being all vulnerable in a new shell, and being all eggified, she understandably hid under a plant.

In the morning, while I took care of that work of modern art I classify as my morning hair, Rhian said, "is this an empty carapace, or is Insanity Prawn Boy dead?" We hadn't thought of a replacement name yet, you see. Well, we won't have to. "Is it white or clear?" I asked. It was white, and hence it was a dead prawn rather than an empty shell.

Oh, well. I mean, it was only a prawn. We'd had her less than a month, she cost ��90, and while mildly interesting, she was no Lancelot.

Unfortunately, we now are forced to pick new favourite prawn, and of course you know what that means: a fight to the death between Merlin and Arthur! Huzzah!

Just kidding. We don't actually enter our aquarium residents into death-matches. (Go Merlin!)

Sir Lancelot is dead. He was alive when I left for school this morning, and then he wasn't when Rhian left an hour later. When she went to feed the fish, he wasn't breathing. Giving the isolation compartment a little shake, he just flopped around lifelessly. And she can't give him a decent burial "at sea," because the toilet still isn't working. So he's still there in the isolation tank, dead. At least the antibiotics should prevent him from rotting until we get back with some draino and a plunger. Some honour for the best fish that ever was.

Sir Lancelot, our beloved betta fish, has not been well. He developed swim bladder disorder about three weeks ago. After his occasional gulps of air, all he can do is sink to the bottom of the tank and crash, ending up on his side. He just sits there, helpless, until it is time to struggle to the surface for another gasp. Sometimes he vainly thrashes.

We gave him antibiotics. He has aquarium salt to make his systems more efficient. He has Stress Coat to buffer his immune system and aid healing. His water is an optimum 78-80 degrees. He has been isolated in a small hanging compartment in the larger aquarium. We haven't seen him eat in three weeks.

Today, when feeding the other fish, Rhian noticed he has developed Dropsy; he is bloated, and all his scales stick out like a pinecone. Very little is known about dropsy. It it a symptom, with debatable causes. Swelling up with fluid. There is no proven cure. There have been extremely few known cases of recovery. He will most likely die in 5-15 days.

I wish I knew whether he's in any pain.

I know he's only a fish, who cost $3.95 at a pet store. I know that many don't survive the pet store, and those who do often go on to be slowly tortured to death by people who don't know how to care for them. He's had a happy life - we have taken far better care of him than the vast majority of betta owners - or fish owners, for that matter.

But Lancelot has been a friend. Our first pet. Unlike other fish - idiots, swimming idly and waiting for the next meal - Lancelot was always keen and interested in his surroundings. He was happy as a puppy to see us when we came home from class. We taught him tricks. We love this $3.95 fish.

At a time when I feel little faith, hope, or joy in anything, I really hope our fish doesn't die. If he does, I hope it happens peacefully.

- Out

Today was winter's first snowfall. Merlin is dead. I saw Insanity Prawn Boy eat him. Not alive, mind you, but he stumbled upon Merlin's body inside The Rock, and proceeded to do what I suppose is only natural for a Ghost Shrimp - he ate him up. All of him. Insanity Prawn Boy may be bigger than the other two (uh, I mean one...) - he's an inch and the others were about 3/4 inch - but still... That's like me eating someone 4 1/2 feet tall. That's like me eating Rhian's friend Vicki! (It's ok Vicki, you can still visit in April - I promise not to eat you.)

Ohh... Insanity Prawn Boy, you silly fat bastard!

 Arthur, the only other shrimp left, took a break from his usual incessant wall-scaling to look Insanity Prawn Boy in the eye. Silently, they faced each other. It was as if Arthur was saying, "you... you ATE him! You ate him ALL!"

Swim, Arthur, swim! Swim as fast as your little... flaily whachamacallums will carry you!

Insanity Prawn Boy weighs a little heavier in the water now. But still he prowls for more food. The fish will taunt him no longer - if they know what's good for them...

(Photos to come soon)