I've been doing a great deal of thinking, lately, about what the meaning, or purpose of life is. More specifically, the meaning or purpose of MY life. In brief, what is the POINT of being who I am, doing what I do, and carrying on. There does/did not seem to be any goal, or any substance to the "maintenance mode" in which I, and possibly other people, live from day to day. I go to work so I can get money, I spend this money on the various things I need in order to carry on living, the money runs out, and I need to keep working in order to keep supporting my own existence. This is all very well and good, except that it's just a big repeating cycle. A leads to B which leads to A... etcetera. It's a snake eating its own tail - an ouroboros. This vexes/vexed me. Having been this way for some time, and making little progress in my 15-minute meditations between work and other miscellany, I decided to seek answers. Surprisingly, I may have found some.
All I have really been able to come up with on my own is that life can't really carry on the way it has. I am currently spinning my wheels, and I can't see a lot of point in the major undertakings I'm supposed to be involved in. My philosophy has been that I know what I'm capable of, and I have no desire to "prove it" to myself or anyone else. It's just a bunch of hard work for no reason. I already have the mental "award/goal" of certainty in my capabilities, so going through the motions provides nothing.
I considered asking people I know, but this has never been very fruitful in the past. People have either provided mostly-unsatisfactory answers, or simply come up empty-handed and shown little concern for the matter. "Oh, it's just Adrian being depressed again. Sorry, Adrian, I've got nothing for you. But don't worry, things will look up, really they will. Nice chatting with you!" BOO.