I've been doing a great deal of thinking, lately, about what the meaning, or purpose of life is. More specifically, the meaning or purpose of MY life. In brief, what is the POINT of being who I am, doing what I do, and carrying on. There does/did not seem to be any goal, or any substance to the "maintenance mode" in which I, and possibly other people, live from day to day. I go to work so I can get money, I spend this money on the various things I need in order to carry on living, the money runs out, and I need to keep working in order to keep supporting my own existence. This is all very well and good, except that it's just a big repeating cycle. A leads to B which leads to A... etcetera. It's a snake eating its own tail - an ouroboros. This vexes/vexed me. Having been this way for some time, and making little progress in my 15-minute meditations between work and other miscellany, I decided to seek answers. Surprisingly, I may have found some.
All I have really been able to come up with on my own is that life can't really carry on the way it has. I am currently spinning my wheels, and I can't see a lot of point in the major undertakings I'm supposed to be involved in. My philosophy has been that I know what I'm capable of, and I have no desire to "prove it" to myself or anyone else. It's just a bunch of hard work for no reason. I already have the mental "award/goal" of certainty in my capabilities, so going through the motions provides nothing.
I considered asking people I know, but this has never been very fruitful in the past. People have either provided mostly-unsatisfactory answers, or simply come up empty-handed and shown little concern for the matter. "Oh, it's just Adrian being depressed again. Sorry, Adrian, I've got nothing for you. But don't worry, things will look up, really they will. Nice chatting with you!" BOO.
Google is a foregone conlusion. All it ever turns up is the wastepaper and flotsom of a billion minds flying aimlessly at the end of their tethers. A huge expense in time, and nothing to show for it. So I turned where I always turn: Wikipedia.
I'm sorry, it's becoming cliche, but yes, Wikipedia. And oh, wiki, you have astounded me again. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meaning_of_life
The amazingly concise article seems to cover all the major bases, and as usual, provides links to hours-worth of further reading. And 3/4 of the way through the article, I'm amazed to say, I am feeling far more peaceful and reassured already! I guess that's what I was going for...
It seems that from a biological standpoint, life really is "meaningless." Or, more accurately, the meaning of life is simply to survive and carry on. This was already obvious to me before reading it again here. There is also the religious standpoint that meaning comes through a life dedicated to a particular God or Gods, which I had figured as well. But the real revelation came in reading about humanism, as well as the "nondual worldview." Reading these, the disorganized ideas I have been playing with have somehow glued together, and make a lot more sense. And that always feels nice.
Apparently, our lives have no inherent meaning, other than that which we imbue it with. We work to improve society, and an improved society benefits all of us. There is no set "purpose," other than that which seems to be the best idea at the time. Be nice to each other, and try to do things that make you feel better about life. Furthermore, the nondual perspective is that "subject and object are the same, the sense of doer-ship is illusionary." In other words, we are not self-contained entities that "do things," but rather, WE ARE THE THINGS WE DO. Aha!
This makes a lot more sense, when applied to my existing/previous worldview. Sure, I may know what I can achieve, but since I'm currently doing nothing, nothing is what I AM. That goes a long way to explaining why life has felt so desolate these last weeks and months and etc. It's not about proving anything to anybody, it's simply that I am the things I do. By changing my perspective I see that I am not a stand-alone entity that separately performs (or does not perform) tasks, but rather the tasks I perform are a literal expression of myself as a human being. And by doing the things I enjoy, or that I find important or meaningful, I am adding that joy, importance, or meaning to my own existence in this universe. Whether I am working on a project, improving my skills and knowledge, or kicking back and relaxing in the ways I like best, I am expressing, defining, and adding to the PERSON THAT I AM. Doing nothing, says "I am nothing." Living the way I should be living, says to the world, "this is ME." Furthermore, it IS me. That is the meaning of life.
Why. That, I suppose, is the only remaining question. But I'm not even sure anymore that it is an important question at all. Does there have to be a reason for us to exist? We simply do exist. What we do with that existence is defined simply by what we feel like doing! This is fluid - it may, and will change over time. Each twist in our lives is a new, open stretch of space and fertile land in which we have the opportunity to enrich the particular extrusion into reality that we represent. As much as it contradicts much of what I have previously thought about human existence, I'm not sure the "why" of our existence is a question that even needs to be thought about. It seems, I guess, that is just really doesn't matter.
The only thing that would remove meaning from a person's life is if they do nothing, or if they carry on doing things that they find has to meaning for them. The meaning of life is the meaning that you PUT INTO your own life through doing meaningful things.
I suppose this peaceful, enlightened feeling will wear off in a little while. Probably as soon as I have to pay for something. But it sure is nice while it lasts...