ElectricTeaParty.net

Right. . .so I know I've not been around alot lately. . .kudos to the snazzy new design. . .etc etc etc. . .can we please skip this bit right now?. . I'll be back later to explain why I've been away (assuming further reasons don't intervene first), but it's after 10pm and I haven't yet cooked dinner, and I know that if I don't share this funniness now, I never will and it will disappear into history as one of the great forgotten jokes so here goes:

Being an avid sailing fan, I decided to see whether I could blackmail friends or family into recording some of the great sailing action currently going on in Valencia, Spain at the America's Cup. Since my friends/family are slightly averse to doing these kinds of favours without detailed instructions, I dutifully went to the America's Cup official website, checked the provider of Canadian tv coverage, and clicked through to tsn's canadian site. After several searches failed to turn up anything America's Cup related that was less than two years old, I was fed up and decided to see if tsn had any suggestions (or, failing that, an email address at which I could pester them for the next three months). I clicked on their "Contact Us" hotlink and was duly redirected to a page with the following statement:

Do you have a question or concern about TSN? In order to get your questions to the people who can best answer them, we have developed this help system.

After spending a few minutes looking for hidden hotlinks, forms, email addresses, or basically anything that would do anything when I clicked on it, it finally dawned on me. . .

So I'm back. . .finally, at great length, having at last located an internet connection that will allow me to read, write, and send email, not to mention drop by the party. I've been skimming around, catching up on what's been going since I last managed to drop by. . .which ain't much, by the way. . .and I'm struck by something startling: I am surrounded by CAT people! Hello? Where are all the dog people? Sure, a cat's great for tranquility. . .that's why they make those battery-operated stuffed ones that purr and vibrate when you stroke them. . . .mmmmmm,.. . .nice kitty. . . .where was I? ah yes. Cats may be all very well and good for vegging in front of a book or a movie, but will a cat cheer you up when you're feeling blue? Will a cat play fetch with you? Will a cat keep you company on your walk? Can a cat make puppy-dog eyes? Of course not! Cats are above all that. The question is, will a dog keep you company while you're vegging in front of a book or a movie? Well, do you have bacon in your pocket? Just kidding. . . of course your loyal dog will keep you company. . . whenever, wherever, no matter what. Unlike your opportunistic cat. Gotta say though, if they could make a dog that purred. . .  Ahem. Apologies to the cat people: just spent the weekend at a dog show. . .heeeeeeere puppy puppy puppy. . .

And let me say now: if this is double spaced, it wasn't my fault. All I did was hit enter and the spacing went all funkytown on me. Seriously. The magnetic, computer-addling personality is NOT my fault. . .I was born with it, I can't help it. :-P

Damn. . .how can it be 5pm already? Gotta run or I'm going to end up jammed in some banker's armpit again on the tube home. . .grrrrrrrr. Some days I thing London Transport is the first circle of Hell. Farewell, cat lovers. Dog lovers unite!

So I'm currently killing time while I sit on hold (on my lunch break!) with Alberta Health in a vain attempt to persuade them not to charge me premiums while I'm covered by NHS (ha! I know, how terribly naive of me! a government give up money? why?) - this after spending my first break fruitlessly trying to find a phone number for my bank branch so that I can make an appointment to have money transfered to England to pay my tuition (apparently HSBC doesn't actually want to TALK to you unless you can be bothered to go to their branch and threaten the receptionist into getting you an appointment). I mean, I totally understand the difficulties of paying people to answer phones at 8pm, but I also have to say this: I work 8 am to 6 pm. When am I supposed to be able to talk to those moronic companies (who nevertheless provide essential services) when they are only open 830 to 415? I can't spend my lunch break on hold, only to reach someone with no time to get answers to my questions! Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh.

Why is it that government hold music is inevitably melodic xylophones and synthesizers - you know, the kind of "music" guaranteed to offend absolutely everyone unfortunate enough to come into contact with it? Why? Why? Why? Brain melting. . . must hang up now!!!

So as those of you who have been following my journal know, I have recently become the proud owner of an iPod shuffle, courtesy of Darren Entwistle, youngest, sexiest CEO in Canada. The story goes like this:

One sunny morning in July, the TWU (telecommunications workers union) decided that it was fed up with going to court and losing in its contract dispute with the Greatest Telecom Company in Canada. They promptly mobilised their strong BC support base and declared, not a strike, but a "lockout" (that way they can blame the company) and walked all of their 13000 employees off the job. The Greatest Telecom Company in Canada (hereafter referred to as GTC) promptly put into action its emergency plan, shifting thousands of managers into frontline positions, and calling in those of its employees deemed most likely to tell TWU to depart and commit an anatomical impossibility. (G-rated story, here, folks!) To cheers and jeers, accompanied by an escort worthy of a rockstar, those dedicated employees began to report to work, leaping bravely into the breach left by the TWU members so-called "commitment to service" (and since the TWU is a former BC government services union, the breach was large and gaping indeed) in a valiant (and hopefully ultimately successful) attempt to maintain operations at the GTC.

Oh happy, happy, happy days!

This is going to sound horrible, so get it through your heads right now: I am NOT in favour of terrorism in general. However, I am very much in favour of the consequences of terrorism as they apply to the exchange rate. (Now if only we could get it to do that without all the people dying).

Thanks to the changes in the exchange rate, my dollars bought me nearly ÔøΩ900 more than they would have. The exchange rate went from $2.40/ÔøΩ to $2.11/ÔøΩ. A BIG difference. Particularly since it has been $2.40ish for several years. Hooray!

Must go now, I am typing this in my living room using our neighbour's wireless internet (hee hee), and my fam is complaining about the noise of typing. More later!